There. Here it is for the universe to see. I have had a heart to start this blog since my son passed away over a year ago. I have started this blog more times then I can remember. Actually, I stopped more times then started. I have written several entries. Many more entries have been written in my heart than on paper. I allowed for the busyness of life to stop me. Or maybe it was fear?
It is not easy losing a child. You second guess every decision that you made during that time frame. Did I not rest enough? Did I miss the signs? Was I too stressed? No woman wants to admit that her body failed to do what it was designed to do……create, grow, and nourish her baby. I am no longer the woman that I once was for she died on the same day as my son. This new Ashley is stronger, wiser but nevertheless, broken.
I now belong to a crappy club full of amazing women. Women who choose to continue navigating this world after experiencing unspeakable pain. Women who will wipe away your tears as they fight to keep their own at bay. This is a club that knows no color, religion, creed, or nationality. I have entered the room full of complete strangers and found sisters. Sisters who not only listened to what I had to say but heard the things that I was unable to communicate. They taught me that it is okay to cry and be sad. They taught me that there is no time limit on healing. Yes, we need the support of our families to be able to survive this loss, but it is something special about being around people who understand what you are going through without you ever having to utter a word.
So, here it is. This is my life. My story. My journey. My journey to healing.
~Vinson’s Momma
It is not easy losing a child. You second guess every decision that you made during that time frame. Did I not rest enough? Did I miss the signs? Was I too stressed? No woman wants to admit that her body failed to do what it was designed to do……create, grow, and nourish her baby. I am no longer the woman that I once was for she died on the same day as my son. This new Ashley is stronger, wiser but nevertheless, broken.
I now belong to a crappy club full of amazing women. Women who choose to continue navigating this world after experiencing unspeakable pain. Women who will wipe away your tears as they fight to keep their own at bay. This is a club that knows no color, religion, creed, or nationality. I have entered the room full of complete strangers and found sisters. Sisters who not only listened to what I had to say but heard the things that I was unable to communicate. They taught me that it is okay to cry and be sad. They taught me that there is no time limit on healing. Yes, we need the support of our families to be able to survive this loss, but it is something special about being around people who understand what you are going through without you ever having to utter a word.
So, here it is. This is my life. My story. My journey. My journey to healing.
~Vinson’s Momma